Some of these insecurities are slowly breaking down, while others are not. This post is not a pity party. I have worked hard to have a decent self esteem and I really am so blessed with the life I have. Seriously don't deserve it. But I also believe in the power of change and when I expose myself it's a step towards that change. And since us women like to compare our insecurities to others strengths. Here's my list to compare. And maybe you have some of the same feelings as I do so here's proof you are definitely not alone.
1. My lower jaw. I am on the verge of having an underbite. My profile has always accentuated this jaw of mine. And I cannot ever watch myself talk because all I see is an awkward mouth moving with a large jaw. So I will never be a YouTube phenomenon.
2. My figure. Or lack thereof. I have no hips. And I have no waist. They just blend together. Which leads to my next insecurity.
3. My lack of motivation to work out. So many mommas out there love going to the gym, running, exercising, etc. I am totally content going on my daily walks thanks to my lovely and talented neighbor Julie. And then coming home to Angie's kettle corn and a diet coke. Yet there is a major part of me that's super insecure I am not motivated to work out. Because I feel like to be a good mother I should have that routine. Because exercising makes you happier right? I'll stick with my 45 min. Speed walks. When it's warm outside.
4. My lack of hobbies. Some moms have these fabulous hobbies. When asked that question, here's my response: "I played tennis in high school but don't play more than a couple times a year now. I ski... Well I used to. I haven't been in 3+ years so that probably doesn't count anymore. You could blame my hip surgery on this but probably not since it was almost 10 years ago. I scrapbook occasionally. I surprisingly have started Maggie's book but my creativity level could never match my mothers. So that leaves me with... Tv binging? Like as in 10 episodes of this season of Survivor in one day...now that's embarrassing to admit.
5. I am a stay at home mom to one child and I have no side business or part time real world job. Most of my days are spent... watching tv and playing with Maggie. And occasionally cleaning the bathrooms and vacuuming. And if I make dinner it's a miracle. Like tonight, dinner was canned chicken I grilled in a frying pan with some spices. And then tossed with a bagged Caesar salad. Now it was yummy. And easy. And my one dinner I'll make for the week.
6. My memory. I am reminded daily by Colonel Brandon that I have a horrible memory. I really don't remember much. So I don't remember amazing childhood experiences that people tell to inspire and entertain. So basically I can never be all sentimental by bringing up find memories I've shared with friends and family. Maybe I need to do that one diet of fasting every other day to improve my memory. Dad, does it really work?
7. My laziness. I don't go hiking on the weekends. I don't complete DIY projects to beautify my home. I don't exercise. I don't plan fun outings or parties. The end.
8. I majored in English and I am not an avid reader, amazing writer, or grammartorian. Don't think I need to expand on that.
9. I say things before I think and have embarrassed myself too many times to count. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes. It's not.
10. My bald spot. I had stitches when I was three. And the scar is near a cowlick at the back of my head so the majority of the time you can see it enough to the point of receiving the nickname baldy.
So there you have my top 10. Think of this as another edition of #mylifeunstaged.