I always thought I wanted to be an English intern like some of my favorite teachers growing up. I was going to be fabulous. Young, vibrant, energetic. Then I went to college year after year. I was so not as cool as the other people in my program. I made a decision to be a student teacher rather than an intern. I was too busy with work and school and I didn't feel like I had the grades or the cheery personality.
Then in April I was approached by one of my professors and the English Ed. secretary. Another internship had opened at Mapleton Jr. High and they thought I was the perfect candidate (since I was 1 of 3 people in my program not interning it wasn't that amazing...)
I was flattered really. Brandon was finishing law school and hadn't yet found a job, so I figured we'd be staying in Utah and I'd be making money for a year. Very little money, but money nonetheless. I interviewed and was thrilled. I filled out the paperwork at the district and I told my boss I'd be done in August.
Then last week another decision.
I was given an offer. An offer I could not refuse.
This offer would still allow me to student teach for three months and have a full time position at the company I've been with for the last two years when I got done in November.
I still get to graduate.
I will make more than double I would as an intern.
I will have greater job security.
Way way way less stressful because I will just get to keep doing what I've been doing.
And I would be happy doing Human Resources or teaching. I really do enjoy them both equally and for different reasons.
I weighed the pros and cons. I talked to lots of people and all of them saw this new offer as a better offer.
But could I really give up teaching? And give up on the rewarding job I have worked so hard to finally get?
I am not giving up teaching.
I'm still graduating in teaching and maybe someday I will teach full time. But right now will not be that time.
I then had to tell the district, the principal, and the English Ed. secretary of the change.
Now I'm dealing with the guilt. I hate that I am being told my contract was "binding." And their are no interns left. And the budget is already set in stone.
Really? changes and decisions happen all the time.
I hope three months will give the district enough time to find my replacement.
But for now the decision to stay on as HR director is my decision.
And I am happy with it. I just hope this (big) decision making phase ends sooner rather than later.