Thursday, May 5, 2011


I have a bald spot. I've had it since I was 3...I think. I cracked my head somewhere from falling into a window well (yes little children...your parents tell you not to play by the window well for a reason). But I didn't have negligent parents, just a negligent sandbox that was located right next to the window well.

The scar from the stitches is somewhere on my head. I believe it is located right below the annoying cowlick I have on the top of my head, near the back. Basically the part of the head that everyone can see. Maybe if I was taller a smaller population could see it, but I am not so fortunate. I have to ask Colonel Brandon every morning if my bald spot is showing. I use my little mirror to locate the back of my head and grab the chunk of hair surrounding this bald spot and attempt to straighten it in a way that the spot will be hidden.

One friend has referred to me as baldy before, but I don't like to claim that nickname. Not that embum is any better in the slightest. I've been listening to Tina Fey's book Bossypants and it's hilarious. See, I think I am like Tina Fey because I have a scar on my head. But in all actuality I am not. Tina's scar is way cooler. Basically if you have a scar you are cool, unless it creates a bald spot.

Are you saying I should embrace baldy?

There was a girl in Jr. High that would part her hair so far on the side of her head that everyone was convinces she was bald on the top of her head. She couldn't embrace her bald spot (if that's what she was trying to hide...or maybe she was just trying to start a new trend) and neither can I. The only people that can embrace bald spots is nobody. Only big white males and little black females can look attractive being totally bald. But a a bald spot? not cool. Although, just because I am saying this someone is going to prove me wrong.

Until then, I will not embrace baldy. But then again I won't do anything drastic to get rid of it because it's a part of me. Or at least I think so anyway. Some days I do wish I had a cool scar though, not a baldy.